so i was wondering why my parents are always so disappointed in me, and then i realized
here’s my sister:
here’s my other sister:
and here’s me
(via orgasmic-humor)
Why the fuck don’t I have a fairly odd parent?
Maybe you did but you didn’t need them anymore, so they erased your memory like they normally would.
Mindfuck
(via orgasmic-humor)
all i want is pizza and high self esteem
hello
hello
(via foodstain)
i hate teachers who dont let u go to the bathroom because “too many people went already” like yea but none of those people were me and our bladders arent connected so just because they peed already doesnt mean i dont have to pee anymore
(via orgasmic-humor)
accidentally offending a good friend
purposefully offending a bad friend
(via letsmeettheworld)
we all have that one cup in our house that is somehow better than the other ones
(via orgasmic-humor)
this pizza girl needs to chill
is that jealousy i smell or just some indian biatch
(via orgasmic-humor)
Aren’t you like 12 said the 16 year old to the 15 year old
12: the most hated age in the world
(via thehilariousblog)
you guys i opened a door to let the dogs out and a fucking spider ran across my foot inside and then i was screaming and my mom dropped a plastic bowl on it to not let it run away and then it fUCKING GAVE BIRTH ON THE FLOOR IN THE BOWL AND THEN WE WERE BOTH SCREAMING
WHAT DO I DO
…
(Source: inlouhazthrusts)
Probablythe best 6 seconds ever.i fucking lost it
fUC K
(Source: fartgallery, via orgasmic-humor)
